


Backup

by raptormoon



Category: Moana (2016)
Genre: Gen, and funny, there's a lot of sass in here, this is me trying to be cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 03:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raptormoon/pseuds/raptormoon
Summary: When Tamatoa is singing "Shiny," there are backup voices.Where do those come from, I wonder?





	Backup

“He’s singing again _already?!”_

“Ugh, here we go again. Which song is it this time?”

“Come on, guys, it’s only been like three days!”

“More like three _hours._ Shut your mouth, Raro.”

“Shush, now, here we go….”

~~~~~

“Do you think we should help him?” Raro asked, his antennae flicking around nervously, as though he were trying to sniff out any more intruders into their cave.

Haumaru shrugged, his expression flat. “I dunno, man. He’s kind of a pain in the as-”

“ _Kind of?_ ” Waiata snorted, interrupting, and crossed his brightly-colored chelae in front of him.

“-but he’s also an easy meal ticket,” Haumaru continued, casting an unamused sideways glance at his partner and snipping his claws in annoyance.

“I say _we_ eat him!” Waiata countered, enthusiasm undampened, and Haumaru rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think tha-” Raro began, deep voice chock full of uncertainty.

Waiata cut him off, moving his claw in a circle motion up by the base of his also-bright antennae. “That’s your problem, Raro! You never _think!”_

“Hey! You-” the larger, but more timid Raro, began to defend himself, but Haumaru interrupted next.

“Stop it, guys. Please.” He sighed, looking out the hole left in the shattered shell of their home. He brought one pincer up to rub at his head, right between the eyes. “We need to help him up.”

“What?! No way!” The hot-headed Waiata immediately began complaining.

“Yes, we do. Look at him,” he gestured out of the new doorway down the slope to the giant crab flipped onto his back, singing morosely. “Who knows what other monsters he’s gonna lead here carrying on like that, and once those monsters are done eating _him,_ where are they gonna look?”

Waiata was silent, but Raro chimed in solemnly, “Here.”

Haumaru nodded. “We could fight off the sloth, probably. All of the bats at once, maybe. Anything bigger? No way. Not unless Raro monsters up and actually _uses_ his size to his advantage.”

The other two monster crabs were silent. Raro shuddered minutely, either at the thought of being eaten or of fighting another monster. Could go either way with him.

Finally, after long moments of standing and staring, Waiata threw up his claws. “Fine, fine. Let’s go.” And he strode purposefully through the hole in the wall and down toward their boss. Raro looked to Haumaru briefly before heading out as well. Haumaru sighed again before following. Out of the lair, into the watery light, picking his way through the rubble of the former wall; then down the slight slope to where Tamatoa was stuck on his back, singing in his saddest voice and mumbling to himself.

“You’d totally help me, you know you would!” Tamatoa made a stabbing gesture up then crossed his claws over his chest petulantly. He was huge. The three of them weren’t small by any measure, but Tamatoa was _huge_. Haumaru suddenly wasn’t even entirely sure they _could_ flip him back over. And that would be even _more_ annoying. He really wanted to sigh, but he grumbled instead.

“Who ya talking to, Boss?” Waiata called out as he approached, his bitter and sarcastic demeanor from earlier now mostly veiled.

“Oh, finally come down here, have you?” Tamatoa snarked. “Finally decided you’re better off _not_ letting me rot?”

Raro twittered nervously, but Haumaru just met Tamatoa’s eye evenly. “We do have a deal. Eye for an eye, leg for a leg, right Boss?” He couldn’t help himself: One little jab at the vainglorious monster. Haumaru had to put up with a lot from this guy, it felt nice to needle him a little bit.

Tamatoa scowled at that. “I don’t believe that’s how we worded the agreement, now you mention it.”

“Oh, no?” Waiata chimed in, the sassiness returning. “Maybe now would be a good time to renegotiate terms?”

The scowl on the gargantuan crab’s face deepened. He was quiet for a long moment before speaking. “I’m listening.”

Waiata grinned smugly; Raro sidestepped away from him, quietly, as though to distance himself from whatever was about to come out of the other crab’s mouth. “I want _triple_ the fish and to keep a shiny of my own!”

Tamatoa roared, flinging one massive chela down in an attempt to flatten the cocky little crab. “I don’t negotiate with terrorists!” he bellowed, eyes wildly following the comparatively little monster.

Waiata skittered quickly out of the way, just barely escaping being turned into a literal crab-cake. His audacity had been knocked down a notch or ten, and he clicked his pincers uncertainly.

Raro giggled, and Haumaru didn’t miss the pleased twitch of Tamatoa’s lips at the sound.

He sighed. Again. Of course Waiata had to take any opening and make it a _thing_. Never knew when to leave well enough alone. His voice wouldn’t save him from Tamatoa for long if this was how he was going to behave. And then he and Raro would have to find _another_ crab with good pipes to satisfy their demanding employer.

It was just all so much of a bother.

“Boss,” he said loudly, calling the giant monster’s attention squarely back to himself. He was the smallest of the three backup-singing crabs, but he was in no uncertain terms in charge. “We’re good. We don’t need anything more from you. Let’s just get you back on your feet, yeah?”

Tamatoa blinked at him, his eyeball nearly as big as Haumaru himself. “Of course! What have you all be waiting for?”

Haumaru rolled his eyes, but motioned the others to come up beside him along the edge of Tamatoa’s shell. They were much smaller than him, certainly, but their strength could not be discounted. Raro went first, the largest by far - nearly as big as Tamatoa’s head and hard-put to stay hidden inside the lair - and began pushing up at the edge of Tamatoa’s shell. Waiata was a bit smaller, and not as strong, but he went in next and dutifully began shoving at the humongous carapace too. Finally Haumaru scuttled in and began pushing as well.

Even as big as Raro was, and the strength the three of them could combine, Tamatoa was _heavy_ and _big_ and the best they could do was set him to a rocking motion, increasing the angle every time until they were nearly squished right before he was able to throw his weight enough to flip over. Standing, Tamatoa shook his head, and then the sand from his shell, sediment flying everywhere. Haumaru grimaced as a good portion of it landed on him. Gross.

“Great. Now help me pick all this stuff up,” Tamatoa demanded, gingerly collecting his fallen trinkets with no issuing of thanks forthcoming. Typical. Waiata sniffed disdainfully at the demand, while Raro bent to the task. Haumaru stayed where he was and looked up at Tamatoa, however, his own annoyance bubbling up again.

He knew he shouldn’t say anything. Tamatoa was an unpredictable force of nature when upset, and he was already well past _miffed._ No, just keep your mouth shut, head down, and sigh, is what you should do, Haumaru.

He opened his mouth instead.

“You’re _welcome,_ ” he said, drily.

 

 


End file.
